Tell Me Why
The first line in this song describes my life. "Sailing hardships through broken harbors out on the waves in the night" I am still trying to make my way back from 5 weeks in ICU with a ventilator stent thrown in for good measure. To be honest I have done well. It has been a slow steady progression back to normal. No real one step forward, half a step back sorta thing. I am in my 4th month of healing and most things are working well...except my energy level sucks.
This is starting to sound like a terrible post...but be patient. You can't join the celebration if you don't know the climb.
So my energy level sucks. I am used to being able to pull anything out of my ass. Little sleep, no big deal, I will sleep later. House needs cleaning...I will sleep a couple of hours and get up at 2 am and do it. Let me get up and go hike with my club 8-10 miles then go out with Superman for a late date. Hey life is short live it. Well that sounded good, always worked before. Why change horses in mid-stream?
Sometimes you change horses when you get knocked off the one that brung ya. So that is where I found myself, dilapidated and with little horse power. I still don't work full time. My yard is a mess. My house has always been kept better than it is now. God Forbid there is clean laundry in baskets in my house. I have never done that. Gulp. I just don't have the energy. So I just growl at the various undone deeds and murmur to myself. It has been all I can do to work part time and keep my house chores in the nose-above-water level. ahhhh....but this is a good blog!
Today... I actually had a bit of energy to spare and I walked on my treadmill for 3 songs. One of them 5 min in length. So I figure I walked about 12 or 13 minutes. That is a big fucking deal....I had some disposable energy today!. It is like every day I start with so many energy units and when they are gone I power down PDQ. I recently went out to dinner with some girlfriends and fell asleep at the table. BUT today, I worked and still had a bit of energy left over. That is so crazy good. I wish someone would get that. I am all ready to do a high five dance, but got no body who could wrap their head around it in my vicinity. So I will just woo-hoo solo.
