Lean On Me 2.0

Lean on Me - Bill Withers

It is late, 1:30 am and I have a full robust day tomorrow.  I start my day with a meeting...8:05.  So there is no room to call in late.  I have several meetings and need to run on my lunch break to go pick up prizes for an employee wellness program I chair.  It is one of my many assignments.  Then back for afternoon directors meeting, and then a post work day retirement party to be followed by a board meeting.  Hopefully back home by 8:30 tomorrow evening.  I say not to complain, it is to give reference to the words yet to grace this page.  

So it is late, and getting later and I have a full-tilt boogie day tomorrow and I have something to say.  I have the dearest of friend and I am trying to learn to support at a distance.  The bad part about that is doing comforts me. So this evening and several evenings of late...I try to learn how.  What I end up doing is watching a movie and wishing she could sit on my couch and watch it with me.  We could eat chocolate and live in la la land. But for now we can't and I need to learn.  I am supposed to learn.

Tonight I started with some pandora and song after song brought her into my heart.  I laughed when I remembered being her nurse when she drank too much at a Guy Forsyth show.  And I didn't begrudge her one drop.  I was glad then to have her back.  Sometimes a girl has just got to party til she pukes.  She did! She lost her shoe in the bar.  She talked Nasty to someone on the phone and was just trashed.  It was thinking about that, when the above song came on.  It made me think about how we lean on each other in our own ways. 

Lord knows she carried me over some damn dark days.  She also dealt with my tail chasing; although I know it confounds her.  So I guess that is friendship; taking each other as they are, when they are, where they are.  Life is just a big ole ball we volley back and forth.  Sometimes you spike it and sometimes you fault on a serve.  A good girl friend backs you up ... so tonight, I am leaning on my friend only she didn't know we spent the evening together.  I just spent it thinking, weaving her in my evening.  It wasn't a sad thing, it was just making sure as I do from a distance I don't let her be too far from me.   We have some good memories.  I was leaning on those til we can make some more.

And so I make my way across a set of days and will be ready with Dinner for her to take home. And I am learning to have balance.  Today I worked in the garden.  I am growing sunflowers and everytime one blooms I remember the awesomeness of creation.  And I learn.

But I hope she knows when my work plate empties out in about a week...she may have to take my cooking two nights a week.  I am learning...but I am pretending to be a slow learner.  hehe....

Night Aine!

How Sweet It Is (To be Loved by You)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSQdRz-HlJw

How Sweet It Is - James Taylor

I have been listening to this song for a lot of years.  I never really gave it a lot of thought until today.  Today this song says what I have already said in several texts to my Superman.  So I think the song says it best.

"How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you

I needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
It feels so fine

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
It is just like sugar sometimes

You were better for me than I was for myself
For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
It's like jelly baby"

I have been struggling to figure out my feelings for him.  Todaymy blog is about what I know.  This man loves me!  This man is better for me than I am for myself.  He doesn't need me to define what I feel for him.  He can tell me he loves me, when he knows I will not be able to meet those words with reciprocity.  So my words are in this song.  Every word in this song is from me to him. 

Superman.... how sweet it is to be loved by you! And thanks for saying it, meaning it and repeating it when you know I can't! <3