ABC - Jackson 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-aSjHnbw18




This song is one of my earliest of my own choosing.  Up until ABC, my music was that which was passed to me by my parents.  I owned the 45 and knew all the words.  This song takes me back to a very carefree period in my life.  It never occurred to me then, that I would have to learn to know who I was.  My life is more complicated now.   To help me sleep at night I have been making lists in my head.  I recently started trying to make a list of my top 5 movies.


I have had the most lively debate in my head, paring down a long list of favorites.  It would seem making the list taught me much about myself.  Well, four months later...I have a firm top 5.


 I have had a good time with this endeavor.  I watched several of my favorite movies again.  It has helped me be my own friend.  I have dissected what I loved about each.  It is as if I have written an essay in my head about the themes, music, places and people in each.  I have championed the cause in each movie and I have felt privileged to watch the stories unfold. 




After much thought my top 5 are as follows:






1. Out of Africa.  I have loved this movie since I saw it when it opened in 1978.  Now that I have been to many of the places in the movie...I love it more.  I have a love for Africa because of this movie.  It gave me the courage to see it for myself.  I plan to return there as part of my retirement plan.  I loved the strength of the main character.  I felt her flaws as my own.  I had no idea the day I saw this movie for the first time, that I would fly to Africa...all by myself...and live an adventure. 






2. The Color Purple.  I love a tale of strength among women.  I love their loyalty to each other.  I love the narration.  I admire the hope that the women have in the face of adversity.  The way the story is woven, I  witnessed women making their own peace in their souls.  It made me realize, I could confront my own, albeit lessor challenges.












3. The Shawshank Redemption.  This movie was all about the relationships of men.  That is a rarity for me.  I tend to gravitate towards movies about women, strong women.  Ahhh, but I loved this movie.  I will say I love their loyalty, their bond.  They were men living in a tough environment, but they related to each other with all the love and strength of women.  I loved the narration in this movie as well.  I loved the audacity of hope... the humanity in such an abrasive environment.






4. My Cousin Vinny.  You can't go deep with this movie.  It made me howl.  There are a million little plots in this movie.  Sometimes, you just need to be dazzled with witty-sharp dialogue.  For good measure there is the hairdresser-car mechanic heroine who saves the day.  What is there not to
love.





5. The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.  I think I like the story this movie tells the most.  I think it is important to remember why women fought for equal rights.  More importantly I was proud of way the mother fought for her cubs.  The mother was a gentle giant.  I was watching this movie and heard a line that made me lift my head in attention.  The mother tells her husband..."I don't need you to make me happy, I just need you to leave me alone when I am".  That line describes the state of my marriage, just before it fell.  We all think we want someone to make us happy.  I don't think that anymore.  I want someone who won't make me unhappy.  I am responsible for my own happiness.






I know this list is a trivial thing of little importance; but I enjoyed this journey.    I have been thinking about what I do in life that makes me happy.  Looking at these stories I thought of the days I was taking classes in literature.  I love looking at the mechanics of a story as much as the story it's self.  I would love a degree in women's studies, for no other reason than the joy of doing it.  Do I have a new bucket list item?  






Sometimes you have to spend time with yourself.  I found out mundane thoughts gave me a good look inward.  Sometimes in life, you can be your own best friend.   It is as simple as ABC, 1 2 3.

Love Is A Verb

Love Is A Verb - John Mayer

 

 

 

 

You can listen to this song, sing the words a 100 times, yet never really hear it.  Well at least I had done just that.  Then this year went into a tailspin.  It was an ah ha moment when I saw love actively being lived all around me.  It was actions big and small. The love around me wasn't spoken, it was kinetic.  People were with me 24- SEVEN, looking out for me when I was not present.  I have a month of my life that is known to me only by their words.  They fought the battles, they held my hand, kept my dog, watered my plants, helped me stand, bathed me, eventually took me home, took me to the grocery, to doctor after doctor, and brought the world in to me for the weeks I was homebound.

 

Love is a verb, it ain't a thing.  I needed all the verbs you can name.  It was a hug, a phone call, a shoulder to cry on, an arm to lean on.  My friends, my family all showed me, love ain't a thing, love is a verb.

 

So I think I will ponder a while...is the love I give a thing ........or a verb?

Sunday Moring Coming Down

Sunday Morning Coming Down - Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson

 

 

 

 

Well first I love this song, but it isn't Sunday morning coming down the way I like it.  I am a morning person. I am not hung over or lonely.  I like to wake up, have a cup of coffee, listen to some music and just love the possibilities of a day yet to be lived.  Sunday mornings are best.  It seems that on Saturday I am still in a grind mode.  There are things to be done and you're still a little shell-shocked from the work week.  Saturday you dis-engage from labor.  On Sunday, you re-engage yourself.  By Sunday I am ready to just meander quietly in spirit.  But I don't usually get a Sunday morning

 

I spend Saturday night away from home.  I wake up in a different bed on Sunday mornings.  It is at the home of another and they sleep late and the house is small.  So I usually just lay in bed and read or do computer work.  Ahhh but thanks to a change of in routine, I got to wake up in my own home, with my guest in a back bedroom and me able to just meander.  I sat in my chair and watched a movie, while I enjoyed the most delicious cup of Vietnamese coffee and a bit of blackberry cobbler.  I listened to music on my I pad/ portable speaker in the sun.  I cooked dinner in my fire pit.  I wrote some letters.    It was a divine morning.  The first Sunday morning I have had at home in a couple of years.

 

I treasured it.  I have decided to see that I get a few more Sunday mornings at home. Funny how such ordinary things can be so defining.  I felt like I woke up a bit today.  I realized I had given away something I love.  Sunday mornings have a purpose for me.  Today, I made the decision to make more Sunday mornings come down my way.  Thank you 2014 for my first gift.