Pearl Jam -Just Breathe

August 10th 2012
35 years ago today my life changed course.  I was 15. His name was Tommy.   He was my first serious boyfriend.  You have all been there.  The one that all your firsts were with.  I learned to kiss with him.  We layed in fields and watched clouds and talked about everything. Our names if we were married would vary only one letter in the whole of our names first middle and last.  One of us had an O, where the other had an A.  Almost exactly alike.  It was 35 years ago today that he killed himself.  I know now he wasn't my soul mate.  I know it would have run it's course and he would just have been a part of my life.  But that wasn't the way it turned out.  Long story short my ex-husband was his best friend.  He was a buoy on rocky seas.  He missed him too.  We were together 30 years.   We would have never married, never had our children.  I would not be who I am.  I feel sometimes like I lived decades to stabalize the shock waves that rose up that day that August day.  Other days I think it was what put me where I was supposed to be ... right where I am.  So today I just say his name on my soul.


Today a 1000 miles from my home town... I want to remember him. Good or bad, happy or sad...he REALLY changed my life.  

It's been 35 years... Peace be with you

TLW 

March 25th 1960 - August 10th 1977