In a past blog I said I had made peace with Christmas. 3 Christmas Seasons back I decided to get off the Christmas Merry Go Round. The first year I wasn't sure how it would go. I did not set up my tree. I did not set out all the pieces of treasures I had collected over 30 years of domestic Godess-ness. I have the needle point ornaments I made the first year we were married. I have the ones the kids made. I have the collection pieces that came later in life. The toilet roll nativity scene is a great juxtaposition next to the lenox finery. Every year as I put those things out, I felt connected to the past and a link to the future. Would I be lost without this ritual?
In my cutting ties with the commericalization of Christmas, I did not buy presents. None. I baked cookies (really good cookies) for those who are important to me. I had my children, their families, my Ex. and his girlfriend, and my boyfriend in for an exquisite meal of hand trussed fillet Mignon and creme brulee with raspberries and everything in between. That was it. No gifts for my grandchildren, children, special others. None. I kept waiting that first year to panic and go out and purchase gifts. I held tight. I am still holding tight 3 Christmases later.
Like the singer of the song, "I Really like Christmas, and yes I have all the ususal objections to consumerism, to the commericalization of an Ancient religion, to the Westernization of a dead Palestinian, pressed into the selling of PlayStation's and Beer." All the hurry to complete the daunting lists of tasks. It isn't for me anymore. Don't buy me presents. Enjoy my company, my cookies, a meal. Your presence is my gift. Be present in this moment, this memory. In the years that come when I am absent and you carry on the traditions... well that is the gift I gave you. Drink little cokes, eat tea cakes, put out reindeer food, and read a new copy of "Twas the Night Before Christmas". Go forward with the things I took forward. That is the spirit of Christmas, not what you unwrapped. So I no longer put the energy into the things in Christmas that don't matter. I come to you with a soul that is rested, a mind that is clear, a bank account that isn't drained...and I am present and watch you do the Christmas Dance because it is your turn to orchestrate.
I am going home for Christmas this year. I haven't seen my sister in 3 years, my brother in 2. ....
"Wherever you are and whatever you face, these are the people we make you feel safe in this world....You know whatever comes, your brothers and sisters will be waiting for you in the sun whenever you come....waiting for YOU! I really like Christmas, it's sentimental I know."
I am going to listen to Christmas songs as I drive the 1000 miles... to HOME!
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