Tell Me Why - Norah Jones

Tell Me Why

 

 

 

 

 

The first line in this song describes my life. "Sailing hardships through broken harbors out on the waves in the night"  I am still trying to make my way back from 5 weeks in ICU with a ventilator stent thrown in for good measure.  To be honest I have done well.  It has been a slow steady progression back to normal.  No real one step forward, half a step back sorta thing.  I am in my 4th month of healing and most things are working well...except my energy level sucks. 

 

This is starting to sound like a terrible post...but be patient.  You can't join the celebration if you don't know the climb. 

 

So my energy level sucks.  I am used to being able to pull anything out of my ass.  Little sleep, no big deal, I will sleep later.  House needs cleaning...I will sleep a couple of hours and get up at 2 am and do it.  Let me get up and go hike with my club 8-10 miles then go out with Superman for a late date.  Hey life is short live it.  Well that sounded good, always worked before.  Why change horses in mid-stream? 

 

Sometimes you change horses when you get knocked off the one that brung ya.  So that is where I found myself, dilapidated and with little horse power.  I still don't work full time.  My yard is a mess.  My house has always been kept better than it is now. God Forbid there is clean laundry in baskets in my house.  I have never done that. Gulp.  I just don't have the energy.  So I just growl at the various undone deeds and murmur to myself.  It has been all I can do to work part time and keep my house chores in the nose-above-water level.  ahhhh....but this is a good blog!

 

Today... I actually had a bit of energy to spare and I walked on my treadmill for 3 songs.  One of them 5 min in length.  So I figure I walked about 12 or 13 minutes.  That is a big fucking deal....I had some disposable energy today!.  It is like every day I start with so many energy units and when they are gone I power down PDQ.  I recently went out to dinner with some girlfriends and fell asleep at the table. BUT today, I worked and still had a bit of energy left over.  That is so crazy good.  I wish someone would get that.  I am all ready to do a high five dance, but got no body who could wrap their head around it in my vicinity.  So I will just woo-hoo solo.